Tim

1. The Need to Show Off

So you generally, actually just like spending time at restaurants that treat you like you crawled in off the street wearing nothing but a pair of moccasins and charge you a buck a lettuce leaf for the privilege? Then, feel free to take your lady friends there for your first date. But don’t feel the need to show off for no reason. Sure, this doesn’t give you free rein to just take her to any old dive bar, but try and find somewhere that’s a mixture of comfortable and fun. Showing off, panicking about money, or pretending to be into something you’re not is certainly not how you want your blossoming relationship to begin.

2. Panicking Over The Bill

Here’s the thing: you can work out what your date does and doesn’t expect you to pay for before the bill arrives. Bring it up casually over pre-dinner drinks, or when you’re buying your cinema tickets, or whatever- “If you wouldn’t mind covering these beers, I’d be happy to pay for dinner” or something to that effect. Don’t naturally assume that she wants everything paid for, and don’t expect her to pay for everything either. Worrying about money this early on doesn’t fill anyone with confidence.

3. Complimenting Everything About Her

There is nothing-nothing-more annoying and obvious than a total brown-nose. Sure, saying your date looks nice, or telling her she’s got a great taste in music/films/books/comics/shoes/whatever is fine. But treat the women you date as if they’ve got enough confidence not to require you to constantly bolster their egos. And I can’t stress this bit enough- compliments are lovely to receive every now and then, but pick your battles, or else she’ll know fine well when you’re lying. Swooning over her in tracksuit bottoms and no-make-up when she’s got the flu and just wants to eat takeaway food on the couch? Very sweet, but not necessary unless you mean it.

4. Understand if The Chemistry Isn’t There

There will be many reasons why it might become clear that, during your date, your lady friend just isn’t really feeling it. Hopefully she’ll be tactful enough to last out the date and have a fun evening either way, but sometimes the chemistry just isn’t there. Usually, it’s got nothing to do with what you’ve said or done (“I knew I never should have admitted I listen to the Dave Matthews band”), but simply down to the fact that she just wasn’t feeling anything more than a pleasant evening with you. If that’s become clear, try not to be a dick about it. You’ve still liked each other enough to meet up, hang out, and try to have fun-just because you’re not going to be sleeping together at the end of the evening doesn’t mean that isn’t the case. Stop trying to drag the situation back into Romance territory, and just have a nice evening. She might well have some cute single friends she’s scooping you out for.

5. Be Prepared

Be prepared for every case scenario. For example, be ready for the point outlined above, and handle it with grace. But also prepare yourself for other possibilities too – such as sex. In this scenario, make sure you are groomed, clean, and have some form of protection (even if she’s brought her own, having a condom or something of that nature beyond a crisp packet and an elastic band is a step in the right direction). Be a gentleman, and make it clear where your boundaries are, and that you’re going to respect hers to. And then, more importantly, actually do so.